Warren Buffett Plays Axl Rose In Hilarious New Geico Commercial

Fluffy and Cedric - Bunny Story With a Moral

Fluffy and Cedric - Bunny Story With a Moral

Fluffy, the orphan bunny and Cedric the orphan snake lived in the forest; they were, by an amazing coincidence, both blind from birth.

One morning, bright and early Fluffy was hopping through the forest when he tripped over the body of Cedric who was basking in the sunlit undergrowth. Fluffy landed quite hard on the prostrate body of Cedric.

'Crikey,' exclaimed Fluffy the bunny, 'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to squash you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what creature I am.'

'That's OK, mate,' commented Cedric the snake. 'Actually my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you and work out what you are, so at least you'll be able to find that out.'

'What a marvellous idea,' replied Fluffy the bunny.

So the Cedric slithered all over Fluffy and said, 'Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit.'

'Oh, thank you, thank you,' cried Fluffy with tremendous pleasure. Then Fluffy the bunny suggested to the snake, 'Perhaps I could be allowed to feel you all over with my paw and help you the same way that you've helped me.'

So Fluffy the bunny felt Cedric the snake all over and summarised, 'Well, you're smooth and slippery, you have a forked tongue and no backbone.  I'd say you must be either a team leader or possibly someone in senior management.'

Best Boobie Sneeze Ever!

Click below for a very funny boobie sneeze!!!

http://digg.com/d31KdVX

Boob Proof!

After a few pints at the local pub I arrived home and said to my wife, "I never knew this. I am so glad my friends provided me information that can help me more properly use the English language."

She said, "What are you talking about?"

I said, "There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce Oklahoma!

 The Proper Way is: ‘ Okla . . Homa’ 

There’s a pause between the ‘a’ and the ‘h’."

She said, "No way!"

I said, "I can prove it!"

So I took her to the pub to meet my new friend.

.

.

.

and that's when the fight started...

Taking Action

A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management-training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions.
"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?"
The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two."
"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping."

Pop Quiz

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?”

Tom says: “I would switch one train to another track.”

“What if the lever broke?” asks the inspector.

“Then I’d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there”, answers Tom.

“What if that had been struck by lightning?” challenges the inspector.

“Then,” Tom continued, “I’d run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box.”

“What if the phone was busy?”

“In that case,” Tom argued, “I’d run to the street level and use the public phone near the station”.

“What if that had been vandalized?”

“Oh well,” said Tom, “in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo”.

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, “Why would you do that?”

“Because he’s never seen a train crash.”

Punctuation is powerful!

An English professor wrote the words:

"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females wrote:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful!